


Old School Love

by chaekmate (usernamewhatamidoing)



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-12-31 09:02:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12129075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/usernamewhatamidoing/pseuds/chaekmate
Summary: And in the end, she realizes, she'd been chasing the impossible right from the start.





	Old School Love

**Author's Note:**

> Or: Jihyo just wants to understand that part of the human experience everyone raves about but has trouble knowing where to begin. (Loose song fic for _Old School Love_ \- Lupe Fiasco (feat. Ed Sheeran).
> 
> ~   
>  Rated [M] for language and brief descriptions of sexual content.

i. 

Her name is Chaeyoung. 

Or, at least she thinks it’s Chaeyoung. 

To be honest, she had never talked to the girl before. All Jihyo knew was that they were in the grade below her and had a tendency to spend most of their time in the art room. 

Still, she couldn’t say they weren’t cute or that she couldn’t see herself with them and yeah, maybe she was getting a little ahead of herself. 

“We don’t have to do anything you know, we can just sit here.” Chaeyoung smiled at her. “It’s not like they’ll know.” 

“Oh, sorry.” She gave a sheepish smile back. “It’s just- I’m not really used to these things.”

Which was true, parties really weren’t her thing. 

But it was one where the whole school was invited and so she thought, why not?

(To be dragged into a random round of party games, however, was not what she was expecting).

“I get it, I’m only here because some of my friends made me come.” Chaeyoung laughed. 

The room they're in doesn’t have any overhead lighting, just a small lamp that sat on the bedside table, making the atmosphere more intimate than it should be. 

Regardless, Jihyo feels her cheeks start to burn and the silence that sets in after their little exchange is deafening. 

They were meant to be making out- because somehow that constitutes as a suitable party game- but all they really managed to do so far was stare at the walls. 

“Do you though, want to?”

At this, Jihyo’s head snaps up and eyes widen. “W-want to, what? You mean- you and I? Us?"

“Yeah…” Chaeyoung blushed, rubbing nervously at the back of their neck. 

“Oh, well, I mean, if you want?”

“I’m just curious, and, you’re really pretty.”

Jihyo's startled by the confession. “You think so?”

There’s a shift and suddenly they’re closer than before, thighs nearly touching as their combined weight makes the edge of the bed dip at the center. 

“I remember watching your recital last month and thought you were really great.”

“Thank you.” 

It comes out breathier than Jihyo had intended but Chaeyoung is turned towards her now and their faces are too close. 

“May I?” Chaeyoung asks, leaning impossibly closer. 

She doesn’t answer though, instead, she closes the distance between them, allowing their lips to meet in a soft kiss. 

There’s no fireworks, no butterflies. 

Simply the sound of the party outside and the blood pounding between her ears.

It’s reluctant, she notes, and slightly wet but not uncomfortable. Still, there’s not movement and they part after a couple seconds. 

Jihyo blinks, unsure of what to do next until Chaeyoung leans back in.

(She not entirely sure but she thinks she likes it). 

-

Nothing comes of that night, of course. 

If anything, she thinks Chaeyoung and her become acquaintances. 

Acquaintances who occasionally exchange pleasantries and smile at each other from across the hall. 

ii. 

It’s only after she accidentally knocks over a bunsen burner during a lab and is sentenced to after school detention that she meets a certain Yoo Jeongyeon. 

The incident being an honest mistake, she begrudgingly drags her feet to the library after the last bell. 

She’d never been a trouble maker, instead she liked to keep her head down and focus on her studies, so this process certainly was new to her. 

Still, she was surprised to find her classmate there, legs hoisted upon the table they sat at, face showing a clear display of blasé indifference. 

“What’s this? Is that you Jihyo?” Jeongyeon raises an eyebrow. 

“Hey.” She replies, settling at the opposite end of the table.

“Never thought I’d see you here, did you finally crack?”

“What? No, there was an accident in the lab today and I-,“ Jihyo pauses, seeing the smirk on others face, “never mind, it’s a long story.”

“It’s usually pretty empty here so It’s always exciting seeing someone new.”

“Don’t get used to it.”

-

She really doesn’t think much of there other.

At first. 

Jeongyeon simply was the girl she shared a detention with one Fall day. 

Clearly though, she must have done something to leave an impression because the following week she comes into school to see the latter leaning against her locker. 

“Jeongyeon?”

“Hey,” Jeongyeon’s eyes light up as she approaches. “I was wondering if you’d want to walk to class together?"

“Sure, I suppose.” 

(She’s confused at the sudden offer, but enjoys the company. 

This continues for another week until Jeongyeon blatantly asks her out one morning on their way to math). 

-

Jeongyeon, she quickly finds, is different.

They’re funny and can tell stories for days, they have a tendency to rub people the wrong way at first glance, and yet, still belong to a rather large friend group. 

But more than that, Jihyo understands that they’re fundamentally different people. 

(If not for their contrasting personalities, but for their difference in the way they carried themselves). 

And yet, that doesn’t deter them. 

Jihyo finds that she's content sitting back and letting Jeongyeon shine. 

It’s easy, the way they lean into each other, the way it feels when they hold hands, the way her heart flutters at their smile. 

She enjoys it because it had becomes something comfortable, something familiar. 

-

Graduation rolls around and she knows what’s coming. 

It isn’t surprising, in any sense of the word, but still, she didn’t expect it to happen so thoughtlessly. 

“Jihyo.” Jeonyeon reaches for her hand, stopping her in her tracks as they headed towards the gym. 

“Mm?”

“I want to talk to you about something.” 

The seriousness in the girls voice calls for her full attention. “Yeah, sure, something wrong?”

“No, well, can you believe we’re graduating already?”

“No, not really.” She muses, because it’s true. 

“I’m proud of you, you know that?” Jeongyeon smiles and grips her hand a little tighter. 

She’s quiet for a moment, taking the words in before chuckling. “For what?”

“Just, I think you’ve grown a lot since we’ve started dating. I think we both have.”

And it’s then that she nods along, beginning to understand. “Jeongyeon, I- you can stop."

“Huh?”

“I understand. And I agree.”

“I didn’t mean to do it like this, I just, I think it would be best. For both of us.”

Jeongyeon was never the type to face adversity head on, and Jihyo was too comfortable to breach that delicate balance they’d melded themselves into. 

So they never talked about the longterm, because they both understood that at some point, it would come to an end. 

All good things do. 

“Thank you,” Jihyo smiles a genuine smile, “it was good while it lasted.”

“You’re going to do great things Jihyo, I know it."

They part with a kiss on the cheek, and then, she’s left alone with only the feeling of her youth. 

(Her heart feels heavy, but still she smiles as she crosses the stage to accept her diploma.

Not because she isn’t disappointed, but because she’s left hopeful by Jeongyeon’s words). 

iii. 

Somehow the most absurd situations seem to happen to her at the oddest of times. 

Tzuyu happens to be one such instance. 

The graduation ceremony had barely ended and she’s still in her cap and gown when she see’s the younger one staring at her from across the room. 

If it were anyone else, she’d say they were glaring, but Jihyo personally knew Tzuyu and simply smiled back, waving the taller girl over. 

"Tzuyu, what are you doing here. Seeing some friends off?" 

"Ah, yes."

Tzuyu had come to their school only a couple months into the last semester. 

An exchange student from Taiwan, she garnered a lot of attention but ultimately was never too vocal. 

Jihyo took them in immediately, befriending the girl and becoming something of a mentor to them. 

"I was actually coming to see you off as well." Tzuyu fiddled with the program in their hand and hastily glanced off elsewhere. "Jeongyeon told me about you two as well and I- I guess I wanted to say sorry?" 

"Aw thanks Tzuyu. But it's okay, it was mutual."

"Oh, I see. Actually, I- I wanted to tell you something else." 

"Oh?" She waited, anticipating what the other had to tell her.

But is seems as though Tzuyu struggled to produce the words, mouth left agape. 

Jihyo notices the girls eyes never meet hers and if she didn't know any better she'd say the latter's face was becoming a shade of red. 

"I just wanted to say..." Tzuyu bites her lip before letting out a sigh. "I'll miss you when you go." 

"That's it?" Jihyo laughs easily. "Silly, you can always call or text me you know that right? I'll miss you too though, seeing you at school."

(It doesn't really hit her until later, but when it does she can't help but to feel flattered and amused.

She's actually relieved Tzuyu decided not to confess because for one, it was much to soon to be starting another relationship seeing as her and Jeongyeon had _literally_ just ended theirs, and secondly, she really didn't see the other girl in that way, but probably wouldn't have had the heart to reject them).

iv.

University is a whole other beast.

It's larger, more diverse, and Jihyo thinks she's in love. 

At times though, she'd admit it was overwhelming. 

With so many classes and the stress to succeed, she found herself staying up till the wee hours of the morning.

Thankfully, she wasn't alone in her endeavors.

Her roommate, Mina, often kept her company, though not to study, simply sitting next to her while they played some game on their laptop. 

(One of the things Jihyo would always envy the other for was their ability to do minimal work and still come out on top). 

They had become friends at orientation, and had only grown closer since. 

So close in fact, they were often mistaken as a couple.

(Somewhere along the line, she figures they must have accepted that label).

-

Mina was almost the complete opposite of Jeongyeon. 

They were more reserved, and only had a few close friends, but Mina was perfect for Jihyo because she needed a calming force in her life at that point.

After coming back from a string of classes, the last thing she'd want to was go out to some party or gathering, and Mina often shared such sentiments.

So staying in the dorm and cuddling was more their dynamic.

-

It happened on one of the rare times they decided to go out. 

A little bit too much beer and they were both stumbling back to their room, getting abnormally handsy with one another. 

Jihyo never imagined her first time happening because she was drunk, but she thinks she wouldn't change how it happened if she had the chance. 

"J-Jihyo," Mina barely gets out between breaths. "Hang on I think- I think we need to talk."

They had just let themselves into their room after making out against the door for the last ten minutes, and only now were things starting to slow down.

She lets out a whine in protest, burying her head in their neck as they lean against one another. "About what?" 

(If there was one thing she knew about Mina, it was that they were never _not_ in control of their actions- something she couldn't say for herself).

"It's just, I know we both had a lot to drink, and I just want to make sure we're on the same page." 

She lifts her head and peers up at the other, watching the light play against the dark color of their eyes. "I'm ready if you are." 

Mina's tongue darts between their lips, a nervous habit of theirs Jihyo noticed early on, and god if it doesn't make her stomach tighten with need. 

There's only a slight pause before they're kissing again and somehow end up sprawled atop the latter's bed. 

(In the morning, Jihyo doesn't really remember anything, but she's happy as she pulls Mina's sleeping form closer to her own). 

-

It lasts for a couple months before Mina informs her that her exchange is to end at the beginning of the Spring semester. 

And unlike the last time, it's something they'd talked about to great length.

Jihyo see's her off at the airport with a kiss and a promise to keep in touch. 

(Just as friends, of course, because long distance was something neither wanted. 

Watching the other pass through security, she feels a strange sense of déjà-vu pass over her). 

v. 

She graduates with a decent gpa and lands a marketing job at a large firm.

It's the beginning of yet another chapter in her life and Jihyo feels like an adult because she has an apartment now, a car that doesn't spew black smoke, and bills to pay.

(Oddly enough, it's also now that she feels the most pressure to be in a relationship). 

At the very least, all her friends seemed to be in one, or getting married or having kids or a combination of those things.

And while being single had its perks, Jihyo can't help but to feel somewhat burdened.

Her friends only exacerbate her situation by trying to set her up with people, and that, is how she meets Sana.

-

The first time she meets the Japanese woman, she's overwhelmed because Sana's presence is all encompassing.

"You must be Jihyo right? My friends have told me so much about you!"

The bubbly blonde extends her hand out and she's slow to reciprocate. 

"All good things I hope. And you are?" 

"Oh, I'm Sana. Minatozaki Sana!"

(They're loud and boisterous, surprisingly well read and knowledgable, and to top it off they're quite beautiful. 

They don't hit it off immediately but Jihyo's intrigued). 

-

They go out on weekend dates and talk over the phone until the other falls asleep. Sometimes Sana brings her lunch and they eat together in her office or she'll call them up spontaneously for some last minute plans. Other times they meet at each other's apartment and take turns cooking, despite neither being good at the task.

(It's all so domestic Jihyo wonders if it's just her projecting or if they both feel the same). 

-

She gets her answer one evening at dinner as she drinks from her third glass of wine. 

The restaurant is fancy, at least, that's what the prices on the menu hint at and the fact that she's dressed to the nines in an off the shoulder number that Sana picked out for her weeks ago.

The latter is laughing heartily at some joke their friends were telling, but Jihyo found herself removed from the conversation, choosing instead to sit back and observe.

On the outside, it seemed like she had everything. 

A great job, great friends, a great girlfriend, and yet, she still felt like something was missing. 

(It was as if things were too perfect, unsettling so). 

-

(It's the first time she leaves first. 

Sana cries, she cries, and when she tries to explain it she chokes. But in the end, she thinks she just feels too young and too old at the same time.

It messes with her head and she can't lead Sana on because they don't deserve that.

Because they deserve someone who knows that they want).

vi. 

Even though she was the one who ended it, that doesn't stop her heart from aching afterwards. 

She really loved Sana, or at least, she thought she did. But the fact of the matter was that she wasn't really ready for so much commitment. 

She feels like a teenager again and it leaves her frustrated. 

-

It's during a particularly stressful time at work that she allows herself a break and goes to bar one Saturday night. 

Jihyo usually was one to drink alone at home, but she thought a change of scene wouldn't hurt. 

The club is dark and kind of smelly but the drinks are good so she sets herself at the end of the bar and keeps her head down.

Still, it's been nearly an hour and she can feel eyes burning into the back of her head. 

Consciously, she swivels a little on the stood only find herself looking back at the woman who had been staring her down. 

With sharp eyes and a large smile, the woman saunters over and settles next to her at the bar. 

"I'll have what she's having," The woman calls over the pounding music to the bartender before turning to face her. 

Appraising them up close, Jihyo finds that they're looks fairly young.

"Hey, my name is Dahyun."

"Hello, I'm Jihyo." 

This earns a giggle from the other and she's left utterly confused because she wasn't trying to be funny.

"Jihyo huh? Nice to meet you." Dahyun takes the glass that had been set in front of them and takes a sip. "I couldn't help but notice you over here all alone, and was wondering if you'd like to dance?" 

Their eyes are bright and she blinks, unsure of whether or not to accept. 

(It takes her another two drinks before she does and another three to accept Dahyun's offer to go someplace else). 

-

Again, this wasn't a situation she ever imagined herself in, but she's learned to never expect things to go as planned.

There's nothing loving between them, just pure lust driving their actions- it's fast and rough and for a moment she forgets why she went out in the first place. 

(When she wakes in the morning it's to an empty bed and a hastily written note thanking her for a nice evening). 

vii. 

If Jihyo could describe Momo in one word, she'd say they were a storm.

(The _perfect_ storm really).

-

It's the middle of Summer when Momo comes into her life under the guise of needing a place to stay after being evicted from her last apartment. 

After little deliberation, Jihyo relents and allows her to stay. 

They had only been coworkers for a little over a month, but still, Momo had come to her first and it would've have been awkward to turn them away. 

So that's how she finds her guest bedroom transformed into a permanent hostile for the new hire.

"Do we have anything to eat?" Momo asked, head buried deep within the fridge. 

"I just bought groceries yesterday, don't tell me you already ate everything." 

There's a beat of silence before Momo responds with a weak, "No."

-

Jihyo's not entirely sure how it starts, but she figures it was a random urge that consumed them both. 

(Momo, because she's high energy and had commitment issues, and her because her hand and were only doing so much the past couple years). 

After her one night stand with Dahyun, she'd sworn off relationships of any kind, choosing instead to focus on work and herself.

Which was fine for the past year or so, but she couldn't deny the ual appeal Momo came by quite naturally and it had been so long since she shared a bed with anyone- it was a win win for them both, she reasoned. 

A no strings-attached type of thing.

(Of course, they forge an unique kind of relationship out of it, making it something much closer to friends with benefits). 

viii. 

It was a day. 

A day that really began yesterday when she accidentally deleted her entire PowerPoint for a big meeting she had in the morning, leading her to stay up all night to redo it. 

Then, she had coffee spilled on her on her way to work, she got swamped with emails over the aforementioned PowerPoint, and then to top it all off someone had the audacity to dent her car.

So to say she was in a bad mood would have been an understatement. 

Momo realizes this early in the day and tells her she'd be spending the night at their friends, which was fine by her because she didn't think she could handle them tonight. 

-

She takes a long bath and heats up some leftovers before sitting down on the couch to watch the news- which was going fine until she sees the water in her glass ripple from the inside out and realizes the loud noise emanating from just above her head.

Jihyo feels her eye twitch and she lets out a groan, because honestly, she wasn't in the mood to deal with this. 

Huffing, she sits up and stomps her way up the next floor, ready to give someone a piece of her mind. 

Fist raised, she pounds loudly on the door three times before she makes out footsteps approaching from the other side. 

And once the door is yanked open she's ready to chew whoever it is out until she really see's who it is and wow- her neighbor was actually pretty cute.

"Can I help you?" The woman an eyebrow and holds their hand on their hip.

It irks Jihyo and she matches them with a scowl of her own. "Do you mind lowing whatever it is you're doing? I can hear you through the ceiling." 

The woman's eyes narrow slightly. "Is that all?" 

Jihyo's taken aback slightly but holds her ground. "Uh, yeah. That's it." 

The door promptly slams in her face and she's left baffled by the rudeness of the woman. 

-

(She goes back to her own apartment and swears the woman turned _up_ the volume just to spite her). 

-

Jihyo considers them enemies until one day they find themselves stuck in the elevator after a power outage. 

She curses her luck and fumes as the operator tells them it'll be at least another hour until it's fixed. 

Hanging up the receiver, she sighs and tries ignore the other- until she realizes there's not much to ignore as the woman had her knees curled up to her chest and was breathing quite shallowly. 

"Um, hey are you okay?" She asks, genuinely concerned.

The woman stays mute though, not moving. 

Sitting down next to them, Jihyo clears , and eyes them carefully. "It'll be okay, I'm sure they'll have it up and running sooner than that." 

She stays quiet at that, fiddling with the straps of her bag when a soft voice fills the elevator. 

"I don't like small spaces," The woman practically whispers out, "they give me anxiety." 

"Oh." Jihyo falters. "I understand that, is there, um, anything I can do to help?"

The woman finally turns to look at her. "No, but thanks anyway." 

(The elevator finally starts moving after another agonizing twenty minutes. 

The woman seems relieved, and before she steps off at the floor, they introduce themself as, "that loud from the floor above you. But you can just call me Nayeon. Thanks for earlier."

It's so random, that she stares until the doors close). 

-

After that, she thinks they become friendlier, smiling occasionally as they passed one another throughout the day, even stopping in between to see how the other was.

It had been a while since anyone had done that for her. 

-

She's already slightly sweaty, due to the broken ac no doubt, but as she straddles Momo and continues marking down their neck, she finds that she's not as into as she usually is, and of course, the other woman picks up on it right away. 

"Everything alright?" Momo asks, hand running soothingly through her hair. 

"Yeah, sorry just thinking is all." 

"About?" 

"I don't know," She sighs, rolling off Momo to stretch out next to them. "I just can't seem to get that woman out of my head."

"What woman?" 

"The loud one I've been- well, used to- complain about." 

"Nayeon?" 

"Yeah." 

Momo lets out a chuckle and moves to put their shirt back on. "What, do you like her or something?" 

And that's when she flinches and ends up mum.

"Jihyo?" Momo looks to her. "Oh , you like her don't you."

(It's not a question and she throws and arm over her face because yeah, she thinks she might like Nayeon). 

//

Nayeon, she learns, is anything but perfect.

They're infuriating, really, with their habit of taking all the covers at night, of playing their music too loudly, and of acting before thinking.

Still, Jihyo loved that about them because it's what made Nayeon, _her Nayeon_. 

(For the longest time, she'd tried to understand love- tried to rationalize it and tried to cultivated that "perfect relationship."

And in end, she realizes, she’d been chasing something impossible right from the start. 

Because love was anything but perfect. 

It was meant to be warm, to be cold, to be soft and harsh and sometimes it was meant to be temporary. 

Love was meant to be incomprehensible, and only now, as she watches Nayeon smile at her from their spot next to her, does Jihyo understand). 

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Wow, this ended up way longer than I anticipated. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
